Bag of bones

Ahhhh, the worstest thing ever happened today. The pain doctor appointment that I have been waiting for, dreaming about, and thinking about nonstop was at 10am. And I missed it. Damn it all. A few days ago I got a text telling me “You have an appointment with the doctor on Monday 10/15/2018 at 2pm!” And I thought “great”! You’re damn right I do! There was no doctors name on the text and no clinic location or name. And it occured to me that I should call Dr. S and confirm that that was the correct time for my appointment. But, true to form, I procrastinated and put it off. I had the text telling me, didn’t I? It even occurred to me at 9am when I woke up, one of the many times I woke up, that I should call and just make sure. But I decided to go back to sleep instead. I tried to call at noon but the office was closed until lunch. So I called back at 1pm and confirmed that the appointment was at 2pm. She replied “Ummm well, actually it was at 10am. We don’t send texts but we left you a voicemail a few days ago.”. What the hell?!  Why didn’t I get any voicemail from them? And who texted me last week? Well it turns out that I made an appointment with the Psychiatrist like 3 months ago, coincidentally for the same date, and totally forgot about it. Freaking. Lame. Well, what could I do? I asked for the next available appointment which was the 22nd. So damn disappointed. Monday, the 22nd, at 1:30pm, for the record.  Come hell or high water, I am getting to that appointment. There is one silver lining and that is that Jon didn’t have to walk to work on his broken leg in the cold and rain.  I’m glad about that but that is about all. Well, and that I found out before I made the aggravating and confusing trip down there. That would have been awful. But not only did I miss the pain doctors appointment, but I missed the psych appointment too and for really no good reason except my crappy memory. The main office is way down south, way way down south. And there was no way that I was going to get there in time, not in the current weather. Of course, when I got a call back to reschedule then they reminded me that I had made the appointment with the north office which is 15 minutes away. I could have made it, no problem. If I had remembered. So now I missed both appointments and I owed 2 missed appointment fees. What a crappy day.

The best thing that happened today was that Dr. C sent me a prescription for 15mg oxy. I was getting in too deep with those 20mg ones but I wanted to have some in reserve in case things got bad again. Especially while I was out of town. My tolerance is ridiculous right now. I only let it go on as long as it did because I thought that I would be seeing the pain doctor today and would get started on something else.  But when that didn’t happen then I didn’t want to spend one more minute at that high dose. I need to start backing off. Dr. C was pleased that I am going backwards. I’m happy that he agreed to 15mg. I was worried that he would want to drop it back down to 10mg. While I would have understood, it would have been a lot harder. But he said that 15mg was a good in between dose. So yay! Dr. C is a god send.

Sleeping last night was a complete nightmare. My muscle relaxers weren’t really having much of an effect for one thing. Neither was my Clonidine. It seemed like nothing would make me tired. And, for some crazy reason, my muscles were freaking out. The would get all bunched and jerky. I was kicking and thrashing around. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong. It reminded me of what people say when they talk about withdrawal and “kicking the habit”. But I wasn’t just kicking and I wasn’t in withdrawal. It is not the first time this has happened to me but it was probably the worst. I tried this leg cramp PM medicine, I tried more muscle relaxers, I tried more Clonidine, I tried a really hot shower to relax my muscles. Hot showers at 2am. Fun. It worked for a little bit but I still woke up like every 90 minutes. Even though my muscles felt full of angry energy, I was completely exhausted. I am hoping so hard that it doesn’t happen again tonight. My muscles have been fine all day so maybe it was just some fluke thing.

Everything else is going alright. The allergy medicine isn’t really helping but I have noticed that my headaches have been next to non existent.  If it was just allergies mostly this whole time, I am going to be wicked pissed. I know I have the severely increased spinal pressure but I don’t think that that is all of it. Anyway, I am enjoying the vacation. I still have a little bump on my eye from that infection. I should start back up with the compresses. I am still losing weight and have lost another couple of pounds. That makes 46lbs since May. I was feeling good enough to go visit Marina tonight for a while, which was a wonderful treat. I don’t get to see my friends much anymore. All in all it is a good time to start backing up on the pain meds. My back is hurting and the sudden weather change certainly isn’t helping it. It went from hot and dry to freezing and raining over night. Dropped at least 30 degrees. That always wreaks havoc on my body, my back especially. But it’s not too bad today.  Dr. C has gotten started on all the tests and referrals that I need. Gonna start the ball rolling on that tomorrow.

That’s about everything for now. Just have to wait one more week for the pain doctor and the plan.