It always shocks me how quickly things can get out of hand in such a short amount of time. I don’t know why, I really should be used to it by now. I have too little patience to put a lot of effort into this post. Just gonna try and recap what is going on. I’m feeling very frustrated and don’t need to write a novel about how sorry I feel for myself. Though I have a feeling this is going to be a long one.
The biggest problem is this stupid eye thing. I knew this was gonna come around and bite me in the ass. It started, technically, four days ago. I mentioned it in my last post. It started out feeling like I had a cut underneath my top lid. I didn’t see anything when I finally got around to looking at it so I hoped it was just an allergy or something. I don’t know how I knew it was going to get out of hand. The next day, it looked like I had a tiny round bump underneath my LOWER eyelid. Kind of odd that the pain switched locations but hey, whatever. Right away I figured it was a stye despite the fact that I’ve never had one before. My Mom agreed with me and told me to put a warm compress on it several times throughout the day. I also happened to see the Allergy Specialist and mentioned it to him. He agreed that it was a stye and said not to worry. “No big deal”. He did mention that if it got any bigger, I might want to see a doctor about getting some antibiotics. Also recommending the warm compress, I took their advice and started putting a warm/hot compress on my eye every few hours. I wasn’t sure but it seemed like that was only making it irritated. Yesterday the stye was bigger but I continued with the compress. However, by the end of the day I couldn’t deny that it was looking worse. So I made an appointment with some random doctor at ARC for 10am. Good thing I did, too. When I woke up this morning the “stye” was freaking huge and the entire lower slid was swollen all underneath. The doctor, Dr. L, said that it either started out as a stye or a blocked tear duct. Somehow over the span of 2 days it became viscously infected. She said that it was possible that it was even a staph infection and that I had an abscess underneath my bottom lid. Dr. L prescribed Doxycycline, which is a really strong antibiotic. I’m also to continue with the annoying compresses in an attempt to get the thing to drain. Ugh, SO freaking gross. I asked her if there was anything that I should look out for. She told me that if it got any more swollen then I needed to go to the emergency room. Yup, no big deal indeed. I really hope that this gets resolved soon and that the antibiotics start to work quickly. This is painful and I am really really scared that it is going to get even more out of hand. I really don’t want needles to drain it or surgery to take it off. Not to mention that this infection seems to be more out of control than most of the shenanigans my body goes through when something gets infected. I have never had a staph infection before but I have always been scared of the idea. Combine that with the fact that it is in/near my eye and I’m totally freaked. C’mon, please give me a break this time.
Something weird happened at the dentist’s office that I don’t know quite what to make of. The last few times I had gone to the dentist, I was kicked out because my blood pressure was too high. I don’t know why you need low BP to get your teeth cleaned but hey, I’m not a doctor. Finally got that cleaning done and was gonna have some more extensive work done today. I think I need like 7 fillings all over my bottom teeth. Like always, we got me started on the nitrous oxide, blasting it. This is how we roll everytime I go to the dentist. Ever since the car wreck, where 5 of my teeth were broken and 2 were completely removed, I have this thing about my teeth and the dentist. Not my favorite place. BUT with the laughing gas, I don’t mind it as much now. Anyway, I was pretty high on the nitrous and drifting in and out. But all of the sudden, though I wasn’t really that awake, I went pale a sheet and sweat started streaming off of my face and neck. Like, running off of me. Dr. W totally freaked out and cut the gas. She got a big towel and used to to wipe the sweat from my face. Then she used her little air puffer to cool my skin until I came around. I had been feeling vaguely nauseous but after the nitrous was turned off, I went back to feeling normal pretty quick. My body was covered in sweat though. I could feel it sticking my shirt to me and my legs left sweat all over the chair. Dr. W tried to insist that I call Dr. C right then but I had to explain to her that he was out of town. I promised to write him though and tell him what had happened. And I did when I got home. We’ll see what he says. We are thinking it may have been some sort of acute stress reaction, that was Micah’s idea too, but it has never happened before. Even during root canals. And I was relaxed and mostly asleep. So who knows. Maybe Dr. C will have a different idea.
The littler things and things of note…. I had a beyond severe headache/migraine on Tuesday September 11th, the day I got my pain meds refilled. I was on a fairly high dose when it happened. It was the worst that it had been in a very long time. It made me sick and I threw up 7 times. No nosebleeds though. It hurt a little off and on yesterday and today I was fine. From the headache, anyway. There is something going on with my hands. I have the bruised, bright red, hot spots on my palms and in between a couple of my fingers. They hurt to the touch and itch horribly. Like I’m having an allergic reaction to something. Dr. L, the random doctor from today, said they look almost like burns. She recommended Aloe and ice. I don’t think I have any Aloe and I can’t bring myself to ask Mom for the money to buy some. I already have to tell her that I need to buy more Nexium. And she paid $1,700 for the dentist today. And I need to buy the Doxycycline which is $10. And the insurance company is refusing to get their act together and are still charging me for medication and co-pays despite the fact that I reached, and passed, my out of pocket maximum a month ago. I need Latuda, my mood stabilizer, and have been out of it for 2 days. The pharmacist told me that it would be $182 for 4 of them. She then called back and told me she found a coupon and would be able to fill the whole bottle for $290. So I am costing my Mom…what. $1,900- $2,100 today depending on how much Latuda I get. There is a pit deep in my stomach knowing that I have to talk to her about it when she gets home. There are no words to describe how it feels to take her hard earned money from her. Most of the time I really hate myself. And my stupid body.
Last thing, I saw the Allergy Specialist, Dr. O, on Monday September 10th. He was very kind and thorough. He was even able to explain to me why I was allergic to fruit! And only RAW fruit at that. It’s because of the freaking pollen! From when the fruit germinates and forms, there is pollen in it’s fruity guts! THAT is what I am allergic to and why my throat swells shut when I eat it! When fruit is cooked, the pollen is burned off. I was inexplicably delighted with the news. That is one old mystery that has caused a lot of disbelief and odd looks over the years. I can’t help but be ecstatic when a mystery is solved, no matter how small. He said it’s not even that uncommon. It has a name, which I promptly forgot, and everything. Anway, Dr. O is intrigued with the idea that I am allergic to something that I keep exposing myself to over and over again, and that it might be causing some of my other pain symptoms and problems. He decided to forgo the usual pin prick test in favor of a blood test. I’m on too many meds that could alter the results of the skin test AND he is testing for a ridiculous number of allergies. Including everyday things like egg whites and milk and stuff. Should get the results sometime next week. I’m very much anticipating this. Even a small answer does a world of good sometimes. And I need some good right about now.